Goodbye Dot

Today was the day that I sold my bike. She fared me well: 4 sprints, 3 Olympic, 3 half Ironman and 1 full Ironman, plus countless hours on the road and trainer. I hope she is just as nice to her new owner (and that I won't see her on kijiji soon).

Rode outside again, and it is getting easier. I was able to give my husband a couple of quiet kidless hours in the house. He has been generous with our family's time that he deserves this kind of down time too. 

I ate a donut today and didn't share.

Battling the wind

Out here, the wind is a given. The only way I can prepare myself for riding in the wind is to, wait for it, ride in the wind. No one can predict what race day weather will be like so it is best to be ready as best as you can for anything.

That being said, I would be lying if I didn't feel a bit discouraged yesterday. Another day of an uneven ride. 42km out and the same back, severely unbalanced. I felt like I was working hard both ways. On the way out when it is supposed to be easier I felt like I couldn't get any speed and I even thought that a tire was low. On the way back I was battling the wind. My friend was breaking it for me (she is used to this route), but after about 10 minutes I would fall back. The only time I didn't was in the last 10km when I really wanted to be finished the ride and be out of the wind. 

She and I were talking about our respective goals for the race. We have had different experiences. I have yet to have a good long distance triathlon and I am hoping to improve both my half and full Ironman times. She is hoping to do the best she can, but doesn't think she will be close to either time, nor does she really care if she is. 

I was reflecting on this on the ride. Do I need to change my goals? Am I in the dark as to what I am actually capable of? Am I really working as hard as I can? And does is matter? This reflection was occuring on the ride into the wind where I was starting to feel a bit defeated. I know what I would like to achieve. I think I am working hard enough.

She also only swims once a week and that got me thinking that maybe I should drop one swim and extend the other. Drop the swim, but get on the bike more, if I can swing it. The bike is where I need the most work and where I have the greatest room for improvement. I am starting the second half of training and the best time to make changes is now. I will try it this week.

I hab a code

Thus begins my struggle. My nose is dripping. My body is tired. Do I cut back time and intensity or do I still go ahead?

I was talking with a friend and she isn't feeling well but is still pushing through. I was the pot calling the kettle black when I asked why she didn't let up. She said she has a race in three weeks and feels a bit unprepared. I can understand that. Even though my race is 12 weeks away, I wonder about it too.

I'm tired more often than not. When Junior sleeps past 6 (or isn't rowdy until then) I feel like it is a small victory.    I do my best I guess.

I have found that decreasing the number of weekly workouts, but increasing the length of some of them, has been the right thing to do. For example, it is nice to know that I only have to swim today instead of also trying to fit a bike workout this afternoon. It gives me more time with the family and time to get other things done.
I do feel more "rested" this way and a whole lot happier.

Half assed

Yeah, I'm whiny today. I was up more times than I can count (if I can only count to 5) with the older fuzzies last night, coupled with Junior's early wakeup and I was dog tired tostart my day. I spent the day with Peanut's class on a field trip and it was the most amazing day. I love watching him interact with his class mates. I learned that one has a crush on him. Awwww.

I spent time with all the fuzzies when I got home and made supper. I grew more tired as the night progressed and I was looking for any excuse to skip tonight's workout. We did our regular nighttime routine of teeth brushing and stories and once Junior went to bed we went downstairs for a little bit of TV time. I half assed half my workout while the kids enjoyed a favourite program. I was texting a friend, telling her that my heart wasn't in it. She said that sometimes it isn't, but you still have to get done what you can. She also gave me permission to be flexible. I didn't want to be on the bike at almost 10pm so half a workout it was.

Also, I guess letting the kids watch TV before bed is half assed parenting. Half a gold star for me?

oh snap!

I know that no one is making me train for Ironman, therefore I shouldn't complain that I am feeling tired. I am bringing this on myself, right? I am not trying to be amazing or make others feel inadequate, however, when I am informed of one of the 90% of the population is feeling tired today I want to snap a bit. Feeling tired seems to be the new norm for me. It's a mix of training and lack of sleep and really, there are only a few things I can do to help either. There is a minimun that I need to train in order to finish the race. But I want to do more than finish. I want to do my best. I can only get so much sleep as it is dictated by how well the fuzzies are sleeping and when they get up. Quality of training suffers. There is only so much rearranging I can do in a week to make everything fit. I still want to spend time with my family.

So when the momma to my right with the perfect hair and make-up holding the Starbucks complains that her only baby was up at the god forsaken hour of 830? Yeah, I want to snap.

First race of the year!

I ran today's half marathon in a smidge under 2:06. A solid effort marred by several trips to the toilets during the race. I got so effiicient at it that I only ended up losing 30 seconds on a few. I was on track to make my sub 2 goal until kilometer 15 when I ended up using the toilet, running away and then 30s needed to go back. At that point things transferred to survival mode. I just wanted to get the race done. Some kilometers were run at the goal pace and others were run slightly bent over. It was tough, but so am I, so I got it done.

The positives are abundant: I still was only a few minutes off my best time, and I didn't specifically train for this race. I discovered that gel blasts are not running friendly when I am pushing the pace.

I was also treated to a night in a hotel so I could relax and have some time to myself and not have to wake up and drive at 530 in the morning.

More than just the race...

A friend of mine DNFed her A race for the year. Naturally she is sad and disappointed. I am not going to comment on her feelings, but on something a friend said to her. She was told that she is soooo much more than the race. This is true. My friend is loving and caring, a determined athlete who rarely complains about her life or what is on her training shedule, a friend who can help pick you up when you are down, and speaks the truth.

The list of things that I admire about her is as long as my arm and it breaks my heart that this is was the result of today.

So yes, she is more than this race.

It is a good check for me too. I am more than what the result of Ironman will be. It does not change who I am. It may enhance some positive and/or negative qualities about me but it doesn't define me. It will be what it will be.