Don't ask?

This picture came up on my Facebook feed today via one of my friends. They also suffer from chronic illness, and have been for a very long time. For a long time I didn't know she was suffering. I figured that she just withdrew from me and didn't want to be my friend anymore. However, I still kept the communication doors open, and she opened up to me. I remember telling her that I missed talking to her and her friendship and that's what started the conversations again. I am very glad I did. Even though we share some similar diagnosis, we are still friends beyond that and have other things that are in common.

This picture describes me perfectly. I do guard my privacy but I am always willing to open up and answer questions. It is very rare that I will talk about my RA with someone who doesn't already know about it. Even with those who do, I won't necessarily bring it up off the start unless I am really struggling that day. I have some great friends that check up on me and ask how I am doing. I also have others that ignore me when I talk about it. I talk to the former group more and have learned to not bring it up with the latter. The thing about that is that it never actually gets brought up so I generally leave these conversations feeling ignored, and then just don't bother to reach out anymore. I am not looking to be noticed, or desperate for attention, I just want the reciprocity. 

One thing that conversations like that remind me of is the notion that people will not do what you think they should do, even if it is (what you think is) the right thing. Just because you ask someone how they are and listen with an attentive ear doesn't mean that you will get the same thing in return. And just because you may mention something about yourself doesn't mean you will get to talk about it. And this may continue to happen no matter how many times you may mention that it bothers you that they don't ask. While I have been told that they want to respect my privacy, I have said in return that I am not bothered that they ask. That being said I am not going to chase someone down for the attention, or force myself in conversations to see if this is the time that is different. 

So why am I bothering to write this? Because it is something that bothers me, even though I wish it wouldn't. I am not looking for an influx of messages asking about me, although feel free. Also, it is good practice for me to talk about myself.